Are you thinking of choosing a marriage counsellor to save your relationship?
When you start a new relationship, love is all you can think about. For the first few weeks, nothing ever gets in the way.
You become so acquainted with one another. You’re no longer too concerned with not hurting each other.
You gradually become too real, and then things start going south. You do something that irritates or annoys the other partner, and perhaps in this case, you have been planning or are already planning to spend the rest of your life together.
You don’t want to see everything you’ve worked for nearly your entire adolescence go down the drain like that. You’d think about hiring a relationship therapist.
Couples counselling offers a variety of services that will benefit you and your partner while also assisting you in resolving the underlying problems in your relationship.
But with a myriad of marriage counsellors, how do you choose the right one? Worry no more.
Here are seven things you should consider when choosing a marriage counsellor to help with your relationship.
1. Reasons to Seek a Marriage Counsellor
Conflicts happen in every relationship. Some stress over money, others struggle with a lack of sex life and some a pattern of constant arguments.
The Covid 19 pandemic has added more stress since couples now spend more time together. Therapy will help you in resolving conflicts within your marriage.
Unlike what people expect marriage counselling sessions to be, there will be no finger-pointing. Marriage counselling offers tools for communication and the opportunity to ask for what you want.
Here are a few signs you need a marriage counsellor:
• You’ve gone apart
• You clash over money
• Many unproductive and hurtful arguments
• You’re going through a huge transition
• Love life is lacking
• Want to avoid a divorce
Once communication between you and your spouse has become more rampant, it is time to seek a marriage counsellor.
2. References and Online Reviews
References and reviews are essential aspects of finding a qualified marriage counsellor.
Most couples often ask for recommendations from family and friends. If no one you know went through marriage counselling, check the online reviews.
To ensure a counsellor is legit, you can narrow your search to records on licensing boards. A counsellor with a top-notch reputation will prove it.
3. The Counsellor’s Stance on Marriage
What stance does the counsellor have towards marriage? A professional marriage counsellor believes that you will both reconcile. You only have to put in enough effort and goodwill.
But, not every marriage counsellor respects marriage as an institution. It may sound counterproductive, but many are often relationship counsellors. That means their focus isn’t specifically on marriage.
A marriage counsellor should help heal your relationship and make it stronger. The counsellor should be certain that you can rekindle your romantic life with your spouse.
Note that no therapist should force or pressure you to stay in your marriage. But, they have to be supportive of it as long as it is not abusive in any way. (They need to try and find a way of fixing it, like suggesting personal counselling services).
4. A Relationship Counsellor That Caters for Your Faith and Beliefs
Not every counsellor can handle all marriage situations. Some may be discriminative to a certain lifestyle and spiritual beliefs based on theirs.
When engaging a marriage counsellor, see that they’re sensitive to your religious or spiritual beliefs.
The same should also apply to certain relationships people refer to as alternatives. If you are LGBTQ, find a relationship counsellor with no discrimination towards your life and how you live it. The counsellor should respect your relationship not matter who you are with or your beliefs.
A biased or discriminative counsellor is counterproductive to the counselling process and will always be focused on how they look at life and their beliefs.
5. You Both Need to Like Them
Choosing a marriage counsellor is different from choosing a personal counsellor. With a personal counsellor, only you need to like them.
But, you both have to like and feel comfortable in the presence of your relationship counsellor. The counsellor should also treat both of you equally. We recommend against choosing one of your private counsellors as your marriage therapist.
6. Marriage Counseling Experience
It seems obvious, but not all counsellors have gone through professional relationship training. Different counsellors possess varying specialties.
Do not be afraid of asking questions about the counsellor’s professional qualifications. They should prove their qualifications with documentation or through references and reviews.
7. Costs Vs Investment
If your budget permits view marriage counselling as an investment for the longevity of your relationship and for your children’s mental wellbeing, NOT as an out of the pocket expense.
Couples who are serious about mending their relationship to live a more fulfilled life together should be MORE FOCUSED on the consequences of what it WILL cost them if they don’t fix their relationship and what it will cost if they separate or divorce.
Just beware, a highly successful and in-demand relationship counsellor will not be cheap, nor would you want to put your relationship and your happiness in the hands of a cheap counsellor or therapist.
Consider the Above Tips When Choosing a Marriage Counsellor
Choosing a marriage counsellor is a sensitive matter. It would help if you handled it competently. It’s frustrating leaving a specific counsellor because they didn’t fit your situation.
It’s worth it to choose a marriage counsellor with all the intention of helping your relationship thrive. Do you want help in mending a soaring relationship with your spouse?
At Betterminds Modern Fast Track Therapy, our professional therapists use a new-age therapy. Our therapy offers fast and extraordinary results, unlike traditional counselling.
Contact us now to get marriage therapy that will achieve the best results.