There are close to 50,000 divorces per year across Australia. If your relationship is on the rocks and you don’t want it to become another divorce statistic, you need to learn how to save your marriage.
If your partner is ready to leave you may think that avoiding divorce is impossible, but with the right marital advice, you can turn everything around. Preventing divorce means being willing to go out on a limb and try new things.
Find out what those things are by thumbing through this handy guide. Here, we discuss some steps you can take to save your marriage so that you and your partner can get back on the road to happiness. Read on to learn how!
Start A Dialogue
If your partner is so fed up with your marriage that they are willing to leave, you may not be on speaking terms anymore. The first step in saving your marriage is to change this.
You need to get your partner to open up channels of communication with you. This may not be easy, as you don’t want to be over-persistent. When starting a dialogue remember to do the following.
Nobody is perfect and everybody has a different perspective. Chances are, there are some things you did to wrong your partner or at least make them lose interest in you. You need to step up and be the bigger person.
This means acknowledging what it is you did wrong and apologizing for it. Don’t make promises about how you will do better. Start by acknowledging your faults and apologizing for them. You can then work from this point.
Let Your Partner Talk And Remain Level-Headed
Some of the things your partner says or does may trigger you. Remain above the impulse to argue and let your partner talk. They probably have some things they need to get off their chest. After venting, they will be more receptive.
Find Common Ground
If you are no longer living with your partner, find some common ground where you can meet. Discussing your failing marriage around your children, friends or family is never a good idea. Find a neutral place to carry out your talks.
Seek Professional Help To Save Your Marriage
Going to a marriage counsellor can be a great place to start your healing process. A marriage counsellor can act as an intermediary between you and your partner and help you both find common ground.
You may have already tried some traditional counselling in the past, so seek out someone with a different approach to get the best results. Under the watchful eye of a professional, you can take a fresh approach to your marriage.
Air Your Grievances
Now that you have started a dialogue and have a professional to help you through the process, you can get into the nitty-gritty of why your marriage failed. Both you and your partner may have some grievances to share.
Try to remain open-minded and don’t get defensive. Try not to attack your partner as well. Hear what they have to say, and respond in kind. Let the professional guide the conversation to avoid past negative patterns.
If your marriage has imploded, you need to start with a tabula rasa so that both parties can let bygones be bygones. Neither of you will ever be able to grow into your marriage if you keep dredging up issues from the past.
A fresh start after airing your grievances will give you some bedrock to build the future of your marriage. You already aired your past grievances, don’t let them control your future.
Set Goals Together
Your marriage got to this point because one or both of you became disillusioned with it. One way to avoid this happening again is to set goals about how both of you will improve.
The important thing to remember is that you are setting goals, not ultimatums. Setting goals is a positive thing to help you both grow, not a kill-switch for your marriage if things don’t go according to plan.
Share New Experiences
You need to build memories as a couple and share experiences to keep your relationship relevant to both your lives and dreams. 86 percent of couples in a recent survey said travelling together makes them feel their romance is alive.
If you and your spouse have spent the bulk of your relationship sitting around watching television, no wonder your marriage fell apart! Get out there and share some new experiences. It is the best way to fall back in love.
Give Space as Needed
If you are unable to get through to your partner, you may need to give them some space. Sometimes trying too hard is worse than letting the chips fall as they may. Your partner may need some alone time.
If you have already tried all of the steps in this guide, or couldn’t get past step one, give your partner space. The ball is now in their court and they may change your mind and be willing to patch up your marriage after some time.
Try To Be Forgiving
The old saying “if you love something you must let it go” may be true, but if your partner comes back to you after leaving, find it in your heart to be forgiving. Holding a grudge will only weaken your relationship.
That said, you also need to respect and value yourself. If your partner has done something you can’t forgive, be honest with them. Honesty and communication are always the best paths forward. If you can’t forgive, at least be honest.
You Can Work It Out With Your Partner
When your partner tells you that they want to leave, it is normal to feel hopeless. All is not lost, however. With a new approach, you can save your marriage and get back to feeling in love with your partner.
Sometimes you can’t do it alone. If you need professional help to guide your marriage through a rough patch, contact us today. We have helped countless couples just like you get back on the right track. Let us help you as well!